for my dear.

i think videos really help me speak. i will start to reciprocate my feelings through pictures and videos.

not being about to sleep, i began the usual: looking random at videos on youtube via the "side bar" that directs me to similar videos.

as i was "stumbling" around, i came across one of my favorite "emo" songs. ironically, this video sets in paris with "for the damaged" playing in the background... which leads to another "memory" of mine.

about a year back, my very dear friend told me that she was going to leave gwu indefinitely. it was due to her mental health that she had to take a break. i was shocked. i guess i didnt know how to respond when she told me. so when she told me, i casually responded "oh. really? okay. are you sure? alright".

later that evening i sat in my room. number 611 in jbko in the dark contemplating what would happen to my friend. i started by conjuring up a parallel universe for the worse. then i started thinking that this was happening to everyone. everyone transferring. then i realized that it wasn't so bad. i sat with this song playing in my bathroom. i had the street lights from 23rd street seeping into the room from seth's window. i sat there in silence. then a knock on the door woke me up from my dreams. i open the door and my runner friend came in in silence sitting next to me. we tried talking and then she left.

by now, readers are thinking. "why is david sounding so emo????"

i think what im trying to get to is less the "sad" part of this story but what was evoked from me that night. i think from that moment on, i listened to the blonde redheads in a new way. i guess i just figured how i like something.